It was on a Monday, and Mom decided to go to the grocery store that was a couple blocks away. No big deal as she had done this many times, but she had to walk because she didn’t have a car in Galveston. It was just before one o’clock, and she was crossing the street at Avenue Q. She was watching for traffic coming toward her and didn’t see the unusually tall buildup of the street in front of her. She tripped from the curb to the street. She fell and tried to break her fall by putting her hand in front of her, but the result was she broke her wrist.
She was lying in the street not able to get up when two young men saw what happened and rushed to help her. One of the men was a bartender at Robert’s Lafitte’s bar that was a block away and he was accompanied by a friend. The bartender was wearing a gold lame cape that my mother couldn’t help but notice. The two men got Mom on her feet and walked her to some nearby steps where she could sit down. The bartender in the cape stayed with her while the other man went to call an ambulance for Mom.
When the ambulance arrived the techs were asking Mom for her insurance which she didn’t have with her and other questions about her ability to pay. Finally the bartender seeing the direction the techs were going in said “she is poor and can’t pay you anything. She needs to get to the hospital.” The techs finally got her into the ambulance and took her to UTMB’s ER there on the island. In retrospect, telling the ambulance techs she was poor and couldn’t pay might not have been the best thing for Mom. She appeared to have been put in a waiting queue until someone was free and no paying customers were waiting. This all happened at 1:00 PM.
Bob and I went to Café Adobe every Monday after work along with every other gay guy in Houston. We were there as usual and working on our third Margareta when my cell phone rang. It was the hospital letting me know that Mom had fallen and was in the ER waiting to see a doctor. This was about 6:30 PM, and Mom had been sitting in the ER for over 5 hours with a broken wrist and had not seen a doctor! Bob and I immediately settled the tab and left.
I dropped him off at home, and drove to Galveston which took a little over an hour. I arrived at the hospital and after some time found Mom sitting in a room. She was sitting in a chair with a little table attached and her arm was resting on the table. I could tell by the look on her face she was in a great deal of pain. She told me what happened, and said she still had not been seen by a doctor or anyone but the ER nurse. She had not been given anything for the pain or offered anything as far as care other than to make sure she was still sitting there.
It was now almost 8:00 PM, and from a strictly clinical perspective we had a woman near seventy years old that had been sitting in the ER with a broken wrist for over 7 hours with no attention from anyone but the nurses making sure she was still there. I have a great deal of respect for everyone that works in the care industry. The work they do and the dedication to their job and career will always get my respect, but on this day and for my mother this was a huge failure!
I went back and forth between my mother and the staff trying to get someone to see her and all my efforts were failing. It was around this time I found out that the bartender that initially helped my mother told the techs she was not able to pay which was not true, but it was part of the ER record. Or at least that is what I was told. I tried to use my cell phone inside the ER to call Bob for his help but the staff was quick to tell me I could not use my cell phone inside the hospital. I let them know my thoughts about that in terms that could not be misunderstood, but I also knew I could not help my mother if I was removed from the hospital by security.
I went outside and called Bob, and tried to talk him through how to find the hospital’s administrative director’s home telephone number, but I was not successful in getting that done. I went back into the ER with Mom and finally just after 11:00 a nurse came in and said that a teenage boy had come in with a broken arm, and as soon as the doctor was finished setting it he would be in to see my Mother. I thought, “WAIT! You are telling me that a teenager has just come in with a broken arm and took priority over my mother, a 70-year-old woman, with a broken wrist? She has been sitting here for over 10 hours!”
I was furious, but had to contain myself until they took care of her. Finally, the doctor came into the room and confirmed what everyone already knew… Mom’s wrist was broken. He could kind of reset it, but it would need surgery. For now he would make the adjustments he could and wrap it to protect it until we could get her into surgery.
Mom has never dealt with pain well, and this time was no different. I can’t tell you how upsetting it was. I was standing behind Mom as the doctor took her wrist and began to reset it. She passed out and her head fell back to my stomach and started to fall sideways. I put her head against my stomach and held it between my hands to keep her head from falling sideways.
Soon after resetting her wrist and bandaging it Mom came back around. As soon as she could we moved her to a wheelchair and one of the staff wheeled her to my car and we headed back to the Galveston house to pick up things she would need in Houston. I ran in and grabbed those items and we headed to Houston.
We got to Houston after one am, and Bob was still awake waiting for us. I got Mom situated and in bed and then went back out to tell Bob how the evening went. To my surprise Bob had not sat idly by; he had been on the phone with some of his customers and had an appointment scheduled for Mom the following morning with a specialist in the Medical Center. I will never be able to thank him enough for taking care of that for me.
The doctor was excellent and scheduled Mom for surgery the following day. Mom did get some pain medication to help and it did. She was struggling trying to get around and just doing the simplest things like brushing her teeth and changing clothes. It was hard and the only help she had was her son and his boyfriend. Not optimal! I had let the family know what happened and my sister Margo who was a nurse at the time decided to take some time off work and come to Houston to help take care of Mom. That didn’t help with the surgery appointment, it was the next day, and I took her to it. This had to be the most uncomfortable time for Mom.
When we got to the hospital the nurse checking Mom in handed her a hospital gown and told Mom to go into one of the changing rooms and remove all of her clothing to her waist, WAIT WHAT?!? Yep, had to be done, and of course Mom only has one hand. I asked if she would help Mom and she said no, she had to check everyone else and that I should help her. Mom and I had no choice, it was me or no one.
We went into the changing room and Mom turned her back to me and removed her blouse. I told her I would unhook her bra and she could remove it. I held the hospital gown up high enough that all I could see was Mom’s head. She removed her bra and turned and slipped her arms into the arm holes and I closed the gown around her. Mom’s dignity was intact and we got the job done!
The surgery went well, and they placed a cast on Mom’s arm. At home Mom was very quiet and didn’t want to move around much. I knew she was still in pain and feeling helpless. Margo did arrive the day after Mom’s surgery and that helped. Finally Mom had someone she was comfortable with asking for help with those things she didn’t want to ask me. Mom was happier, and the laughter returned to our house. I was happy to see that mom was in a better place but a little sad I was not the one that could make her smile again.
Both Margo and I had a role in helping Mom, but mine was to see to the logistics of Mom’s recovery and Margo was to see to her comfort and emotional health. In the end Mom did recover, but the hospital was given my address in Houston as Mom’s address. I was and remained so upset with them that anything I received with their return address I threw in the trash. They should have gotten Mom’s correct address.
The next year when Mom came down she stayed with me at the Houston house and only stayed in Galveston when I was able to be there. We did go into Lafitte’s bar and asked about a bartender that wore a gold lame cape and everyone knew who I was talking about. We were told he would be working that evening if we wanted to see him. We did return that evening and met him and the friend that was with him that fateful day. I thanked them both and asked if we could show our appreciation by taking them to dinner, but he declined. They were the heroes of the day and although I have never seen them again I will always remember they came to help my mother in one of her most vulnerable moments, and stayed with her to be sure she was okay. Bless them!